Thursday, August 28, 2008

my own Chinese gardens

Recently, my friend Malcolm wrote about perspective . Soon after, my sister also wrote a post about how this led her to think about Chinese gardens. That led me to thinking about how I sometimes view my children in light of a Chinese Garden. If you read their posts, you can see what got me to thinking about it originally.

I often look at my kids as my own garden. After all, I have spent so much time raising, cultivating, weeding, planting, and hoping and praying for a bountiful harvest in their lives. When thinking of how Peregrine talks about a Chinese garden the analogy jumped out for me. There is a Designer who has arranged this beautiful garden (my child) and set it just so for me to appreciate the beauty. Often times, I miss it because I am looking at something else or even wishing for a different design. When I do stop to turn around, sometimes this is a downfall for me. I cannot spend so much time looking back at what was, or I may miss what’s ahead, or fail to appreciate it. There are times when I can “turn around” and appreciate all the beauty that is blooming around me. But I have to be careful not to get lost in what is “back there” and fail to appreciate the blossoms that will soon be springing up…

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Monday, August 4, 2008

reap what you sow

“You reap what you sow”- I would guess that almost everyone has heard that old adage. I think it is pretty self-explanatory. After all, in life, you can only harvest what you plant.

I guess the first time I heard this applied to parenting was when my kids were still young, I may have only had one child at the time. I was in a seminar where the speaker said “if you don’t like the way your kids are acting, it’s your own fault”. Well, that was pretty hard to swallow, but I had to know that she was right. If you think your kids are talking rude, listen to yourself. If your kids are lying, stop and hear what stories you are telling. If your kids are disrespecting authority, how do you submit? And of course, the list goes on. Even though I hate to admit that there is so much truth to that, I have to face up to it. Especially as my kids get older and sound more and more like me….

It reminds me of a poster I used to have in my room when I was very young. I still remember it and have not seen it in a while. I will post it here with credit given to the author:

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE

Dorothy Law Nolte

If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.

If a child lives with fear,
he learns to be apprehensive.

If a child lives with pity,
he learns to feel sorry for himself.

If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with jealousy,
he learns what envy is.

If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns to be confident.

If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with praise,
he learns to be appreciative.

If a child lives with acceptance,
he learns to love.

If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with recognition,
he learns that it is good to have a goal.

If a child lives with sharing,
he learns about generosity.

If a child lives with honesty and fairness,
he learns what truth and justice are.

If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith in himself and in those about him.

If a child lives with friendliness,
he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live.

If you live with serenity,
your child will live with peace of mind.

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