sowingseeds

“Planning for planting next year’s garden actually begins after harvesting the current year’s crops. Removing old plant debris and tilling the soil are two steps towards next year’s garden.”

-from the Safer Brand website

In raising children, we often find ourselves muddling through. They don’t come with pre-packaged instructions, and there are no one-size-fits-all instructions to suit each child’s individual needs. But when we learn our children and watch their growth patterns and learning styles, we can better plan for the road ahead. Using general guidelines and applying them to our particular children can help us as parents to develop a parenting plan. As with planning for next year’s garden, we will do a better job if we start today. If we see our child catching onto a lesson that has been taught, we can see that now is the time to begin preparing the road for the next life lesson which usually comes sooner than we think! If we are prepared, then the lessons won’t be as tough as they might could be. We can see as with plants, if we remove the debris of old, unwanted habits and begin tilling the soil of our children’s hearts and minds, the upcoming lessons can be weathered with little heartache and a steady, sturdy growth.

In reading this definition, it really struck me as what parents do for their children. We want to protect our children from things that will harm them. But at the same time, we want them to experience life in such a way that they will grow from it. What this means is that they will have to undergo trials and hardships that will stretch them as people, will cause them to think and solve problems. We want them to grow into healthy adults who will contribute to society. If we shield them from every potential thing that might provide discomfort or be perceived as negative, we do them a great disservice. They lose their hardiness, their ability to withstand the storms that life inevitably brings. We do well to remember that in providing our children with sterilized soil, we do not kill the things that will bring about healthy growth.

As kids grow, they naturally pull away from their family. But when tough times come, parents may see the small tendrils their children still have clinging to the support they have known at home. It is amazing the storms and trials kids go through these days, but having a support at home helps them to remain stable and strong while they are still developing. If kids can keep those tendrils in tact, they can continue to feel the support offered by their family well into their maturing years. The support can help them stay grounded when the storms and winds of life blow. They may not be as attached as they once were, but those tendrils back to home will provide enough support to the growing child that they can make it through.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he shall not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6

As each child differs from another, we will do well to keep in mind each individual child’s differences so that we can indeed “train him in the way that he should go.”

As a parent, I look for ways to help him form stronger roots in areas of character development too. If I see an area where improvement needs to take place, we sit down and talk honestly. Not in a way that will wound or cut the child’s soul, psyche or even ego, but in a way that the child can sense the love, honesty and desire for maturity, for deeper and stronger roots, for becoming that strong and hardy plant that will bloom with beauty.  

It seems that kids go through stages of internal thought processes that can be likened to photosynthesis of a plant. In my house, it has come to seem that perhaps teens are especially adept at mulling things over for a while before actually using the things they have been thinking about as energy for growth. It is so good to see a child of any age take to heart things that mom and dad have been telling them, sometimes for years.

We parents may at times feel as if we are talking to the wind or a brick wall, but when we see these things take effect in our children’s lives and the growth and maturity that begin show in the way they conduct themselves, we can know that our effort was not wasted. It may take time for a kid to think through things they are hearing and learning. But after a while of “percolating” the thoughts and ideas, these often become the catalyst for growth in their lives. As parents, we will hopefully continue to “shed some light” in our children’s hearts and minds, while allowing them the time and space to internally process these things. Our hope is that the reward will be the strong and healthy growth of our children into fruitful adult lives.

As in gardening, I think it is important to remember not to just go out and “kill” everything that appears or sounds bad that surrounds our child. We must remember that there are “bacteria” that are essential to health and growth. If we end up rescuing our child in every situation, s/he can never attain the maturity we wish to see in him/her. We must be careful in the balancing act of sterilization that we don’t wipe out everything around our kids that they need to encourage growth and maturity.

As our children mature, we can see little nodes of growth throughout their life. Entering the teen years brings tons of new growth-physical, mental and emotional. Seeing these nodes and the new growth stemming from them can be such a bright spot for a parent. Knowing that there is maturation going on inside their young ones as well as the outside makes the bittersweet feelings a little more sweet. It is a wonderful feeling to see that new branch bud out and grow to new heights right before our eyes. Seeing moments of maturity and development may seem few and far between, but if we keep watching, we will soon notice our tender young plants are covered with nodes ready for new growth.