sowingseeds

While reading about watering plants, I was hit by how similar it is to raising children. The safer brand website (linked above) gives some good advice about when to water plants. Gardeners are advised that a few minutes of surface watering are not enough. Plants must be watered in such a fashion that the water seeps to the roots. This is obvious in our children’s lives as well.

Perhaps beginning and ending the day with quietness and refreshing words would be an added help in allowing our children to grow into the healthy plants they are destined to be.

“Planning for planting next year’s garden actually begins after harvesting the current year’s crops. Removing old plant debris and tilling the soil are two steps towards next year’s garden.”

-from the Safer Brand website

In raising children, we often find ourselves muddling through. They don’t come with pre-packaged instructions, and there are no one-size-fits-all instructions to suit each child’s individual needs. But when we learn our children and watch their growth patterns and learning styles, we can better plan for the road ahead. Using general guidelines and applying them to our particular children can help us as parents to develop a parenting plan. As with planning for next year’s garden, we will do a better job if we start today. If we see our child catching onto a lesson that has been taught, we can see that now is the time to begin preparing the road for the next life lesson which usually comes sooner than we think! If we are prepared, then the lessons won’t be as tough as they might could be. We can see as with plants, if we remove the debris of old, unwanted habits and begin tilling the soil of our children’s hearts and minds, the upcoming lessons can be weathered with little heartache and a steady, sturdy growth.

In reading this definition, it really struck me as what parents do for their children. We want to protect our children from things that will harm them. But at the same time, we want them to experience life in such a way that they will grow from it. What this means is that they will have to undergo trials and hardships that will stretch them as people, will cause them to think and solve problems. We want them to grow into healthy adults who will contribute to society. If we shield them from every potential thing that might provide discomfort or be perceived as negative, we do them a great disservice. They lose their hardiness, their ability to withstand the storms that life inevitably brings. We do well to remember that in providing our children with sterilized soil, we do not kill the things that will bring about healthy growth.

When thinking about what to plant in the garden of our children’s hearts, and when, it can be confusing. I think the child himself is a good indicator of when the soil of his/her heart is ready for certain ideas and lessons. This is often communicated by questions the child asks and behaviors s/he exhibits. I also think that being in different situations and around lots of different people brings up “teachable moments” that allow us to plant new (or reinforce old) ideas, values, and things to think about and grow on. These times are perfect for communicating ideas and lessons for our child to grow with. Though we have no gardening book to tell us just what to plant and when to plant it in our children, there are general guidelines to watch for. And knowing our children and listening to what they are asking is a big help to us as parents in knowing what to plant in their hearts and minds and when it is the “right” time to do so.

As kids grow, they naturally pull away from their family. But when tough times come, parents may see the small tendrils their children still have clinging to the support they have known at home. It is amazing the storms and trials kids go through these days, but having a support at home helps them to remain stable and strong while they are still developing. If kids can keep those tendrils in tact, they can continue to feel the support offered by their family well into their maturing years. The support can help them stay grounded when the storms and winds of life blow. They may not be as attached as they once were, but those tendrils back to home will provide enough support to the growing child that they can make it through.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he shall not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6

As each child differs from another, we will do well to keep in mind each individual child’s differences so that we can indeed “train him in the way that he should go.”

The pressure kids feel today in having to reach extraordinary status in some area of performance is astounding. They need some room to breath and to know that it is ok to be a “regular Joe” in some aspects. There is no way that anyone can be “on top” all the time. It is healthy to know that it is ok to be in the middle of the pack sometimes. It can even add to the enjoyment of the activity for sheer pleasure rather than having to “perform”.

We do well to remember that they are still young, that it takes more patience and an approach which can be taken in and absorbed that will aid in the growth we desire to see.

MICROCLIMATE — The warmth and humidity of the air in close proximity to a plant. It may differ significantly from the general climate of the area.

This definition can certainly relate to the homelife of a child, and it can be either positive or negative. The homelife in which a child grows up in is indeed a microclimate and the “warmth and humidity” experienced has a great effect on the outcome of the child’s growth and development.

The warmth can be respresented by the loving warmth a family embraces their child in. It can be the smiles and hugs that the child thrives with. It can be a place of safety and refuge.

Heat can also be felt in a negative way. It can be abuse heaped upon a child. It can be constant friction and fighting. It can be negative lifestyles that will stunt a child’s growth.

Both of these extremes could be a microclimate in a child’s home and both could differ from what the child sees outside his/her home. It is apparant which is a more healthy climate for children to grow. But we also know that heat abounds in many manifestations.